A Month In Between
Dear friend,
Augusto is a beautiful month. Un mese bellissimo. But I don’t need to tell you that. You’ve borne witness to the summer sunrises, smelt the warm wind that’s blown through the trees, felt the rush of chill from the water and delighted in the sensation of it enveloping around every finger, every strand of hair, every muscle worn weary with labor.
This month finds most children back to school and as such, most parents beginning to make the transition from beach towels and road trips to sharpened pencils and fresh notebooks. The fringes of my black currant bushes have turned golden with the heat stress of the season, the grass has long since died, and yet at the same time, the bounty of summer still pours. Mulberries drip from the branches, tomatoes fill my baskets, hummingbirds visit the crepe myrtle outside my window, and I’m happy to still slip into any pool of water that will have me.
It is a month in limbo.
a summer cocktail, celebrating some of the final harvests of the season (in this case the peaches)
This isn’t a problem to solve or a sensation to fix, there of course being nothing wrong with living in limbo. It is a month that is both here and there, now and not yet. August is an engagement between summer and fall, the wedding day anticipated and imminent. There is peace in knowing the intentions of both seasons — our task is to joyfully delight in them both.
Are you in an interim?
I am.
This week closes out summer for us here at the cottage — in just over a week, we will be leaving to work in rural Italy for the month of September, welcoming guests and family alike to our home-away-from-home. This means that I’m saying goodbye to the geraniums in the window boxes, the cosmos blowing in the hot August breeze, and the vital green that still radiates from the gardens. When we return, it won’t be so. I’ve spent almost all my life living in this valley and know exactly what to expect of late September days — I’ll recognize the chill in the morning air and the beautiful shades of red, golden, brown, and yellow that will soon touch all the edges.
This is a physical interim.
Yours may look different than mine. You may find yourself in a financial interim, straddling work or the deposits between this job and that one, or an emotional interim, navigating the complex reality of feeling two emotions at once. You’re here. You’re there. You’re and seemingly neither.
Much of our life is spent in exactly this place. “When…” and “Once…” become borderline swear-words, offering us promises to help soften the discomfort of the in-between. Oh sweet friend, there’s nothing wrong with such a place.
The in-between of showering and being dressed & ready for the day is a time in which one can listen to music, pray, delight in the calm before the storm of the day, catch up on a phone call with a friend, spend a few moments investing in themselves (moisturize ladies, moisturize), or casually delighting in choosing an outfit for the day.
The in-between of a physical trial and healing is a time in which one can spend time with the body and observe it, get to know it better, and find out what it’s capable of. In such moments one can gather information, share their story, relate and help others. Physically challenging times are often a time of deep prayer and dependence.
The in-between of parenting, a large gap of time that parents find between diapers and high-school graduation, can often feel the same. They need us, but not as much. We need to be deeply involved, but also train them for independence. This season of adolescence is a time of sanctification, of refinement and of growth.
How sad it would be to wish away the time between hoping for a family and the finished work of having raised one.
Gratitude and delight for today are the only solution.
Our work is never finished; the middle moments are inescapable. So, inspired by the culture in which I’ll be spending my time in the coming weeks, here are a few simple tactics to delight in such moments:
Stop, mid-day, and call or visit a friend. Italians are often intensely social people, finding value in small conversations had with a barista at their local bar, the butcher at the deli-counter, the old man who shuffles up and down the street. For a moment, we stop racing to an abstract finish line that’s not here yet and instead we use the given moment to build community in teeny-tiny ways. Talk to them about their day, their hopes, their challenges. In such moments, we are allowed time outside of ourselves, to think of others and to share in their joys and also their tears. Community gives us life.
a beautiful breakfast, for no reason other than life
Give yourself small treats on the daily — not just when some grand accomplishment is achieved, some new milestone is reached. Our lives are so much more than accomplishments. Making moments in average, in-between days delightful is a gift you can open right now. Eat pasta for lunch, drizzle the good olive oil over your bread, make yourself a fresh espresso with a dollop of fresh, whipped sweet cream. Take breaks before you need them, take a siesta. Wear your beautiful linen shirt, even if you’re just at home waiting for what’s next. Spritz yourself with perfume on Wednesday. Meet with friends for supper on Monday. For no reason. For life.
Take note of the simple pleasures you have already: fresh air, sunshine, a beautiful view, good work, the opportunity to eat, physical touch, each other. Congratulations. You’ve arrived.
I’m off to make lunch (and what is that but the in-between of breakfast and dinner?) — a time that is sandwiched between the beginning and end of my day, yet valuable nonetheless. A lunch in August — the in-between of the in-between. And I’m grateful to be alive and to have it.
I hope you can see some value in your time in the middle.
Love,
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