Dear friend,
This time last year, we were two weeks away from our family’s big adventure: a five-week stay in Italy. In many ways, I’m still surprised we managed to pull it off with four children, limited resources, and a farm left behind.
While I missed being at home during March when the tulips bloom, what I gained from that time away was far greater than what I missed.
That trip allowed me to pull out of my circumstances, out of my frustrations, shortcomings, and tangles — it allowed me to gain a bird’s eye view of life and of how we were spending it… this one wild and precious journey. Perhaps most importantly, it was a rebooting of my own moral… it reminded me that I’m not failing — modern life simply comes with a heavy load.
I’ll be blunt. I’ve been pretty hard on myself this past year. I’ve felt wasteful and insufficient in my work as homemaker. I’ve struggled deeply with feeling like I’m not doing a good enough job and tending to things well. Then, I was forced to take smaller steps…
I learned to manage laundry slower in Italy, because laundry had to be managed slower. There was no cramming, no stuffing, no persuading the small machine to run any faster. It ran small loads for a long period of time. As did the dishwasher, which seemed to run far longer than our standard time between meals. Dishes, I learned quickly, were also to be managed slower.
Instead of cramming the washer (or dishwasher) full with days of filth, the filth must be managed in small pieces, bit by bit. Bite size chunks of effort to match the bite size chunks of mess.
I realized, over those weeks, that I am trying to manage too much — asking too much of my daily efforts.
I’m not bad at homemaking. Yet without awareness, I set myself up for failure. As capable as homemakers are, we are but humans - with limited energy, resource, creativity, focus, and capabilities.
In case you’re like me this week — finding yourself a bit under it all — I hope this can encourage you as it has encouraged me.
If we cease to feel blessed by what is, in fact, a blessing, it may be a sign we are trying to carry too much. Perhaps it’s a good day for stripping away some of that excess…
And so, instead of trying to fix everything at once, I’m starting small.
It’s hard for me to feel hopeless with hands in the soil… so it seemed the perfect week to begin this year’s garden; teeny, tiny seeds that bring with them the promise of a summer tomato that will taste of sunshine.
I’m sharing a few varieties and why we’re growing them, and baking some focaccia with the surplus from last year’s garden!
It’s almost like it all comes full circle. Glory be!
A Gathering
Today I wanted to take some time to gather photographs that I’ve taken through the years; photographs I’ve chose to put together to make you and I both smile. I wanted to be reminded that there are beautiful moments to capture, that small inconveniences and annoyances won’t last forever, and that there is grace even amongst the trouble.
“It is solved by walking,” St Augustine used to say,
and I think I know now what he meant.
He meant, at first, I think,
to take a damn walk,
a that’s probably all he meant
at the time.
But once he got going,
putting one food in front of the other,
the warm, African breeze in his hair,
he probably had an idea of
what to do next.
He probably walked past
that old pear tree he used to rob,
and decided he needed to confess.
And then, as he took the restless steps
that led to the whole ‘restless hearts’ thing,
he realized that this whole affair
was a pretty good image for all of life.
He just had to put one food
in front of the other,
taking a step forward
into God-knows-what
and letting the road rise to meet him.
That’s the way I imagine it,
anyway.”
— Solvitur Ambulando II
Meet The Mood
PS: Stuarts Wants To Take You To Middle Earth!
Stuart is teaching through LOTR with his class at our homeschool coop and will be opening up some of his course material and lectures online. My husband loves Tolkien and because of his deep knowledge, has a way of opening up layers and magic one could otherwise miss. If you’d like some guidance in reading through this classic, you can join in the adventure right here.
May the sun rise up to greet us soon!
Love,
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